A little Inspiration goes a long way
Why Butterflies?
You will notice that I have a butterfly on the top of my webpage as well as on my business cards. People often ask about the symbolism. Butterflies are the ultimate symbol for transitions, transformation, and positive change, and this is the hallmark of therapy, as well as the innate ability of every person. Much like the caterpillar, who can transform into a butterfly, capable of flight and freedom, exemplifying beauty and generating admiration, people too can metaphorically transform into who they wish to be. Some are mentally stuck in one stage or another for various reasons. Some resemble the caterpillar stage and are afraid of change, wanting it, but sabotaging every attempt to keep the status quo. Others resemble the cocoon stage and are trying to work on themselves, but are still afraid to leave the security and safety of what they know and are comfortable in even if it is no longer serving them and is destructive. They stay in that same routine and dynamic, prohibiting personal growth and success, afraid to leave the "cocoon" of the familiar. Once people realize that their minds are their most powerful tools and they control every facet of their life, they then realize their true capabilities. When we put our minds to focus on our goals, and we relinquish the fear and move forward, we often realize that all things are possible, including letting go of bad habits, insecurities, fears, and the ways in which we relate to others. Next time you see a butterfly, let it serve as a reminder of your innate capacity for growth, change and success.
Water Wisdom
I always marvel at how much we can learn simply by observing nature. This is one of the reasons I like to be outdoors as much as possible, for my own enjoyment, and with clients when possible. Besides the benefits of fresh air and exercise, and the calming effects of wind rustled leaves, and the sounds of birds, when we look around it is impossible not to see the similarities that we share with the great outdoors. Take water for example. Water does not let itself be defined by the container (life situation) it is in. Rather, it adapts, temporarily, to make the situation work and when it rushes to its destination, as in this picture, it does so with purpose and focus, consistently and continually and, most importantly, it does not let hurdles get it the way. Look at how it maneuvers around the rocks, under them, and with enough force, right over them, not letting anything get in its way to its destination. It just keeps going. It keeps flowing and moving on. Even the sound it makes is a constant drumbeat of its unflappable persistency.
Friendship...
When you study humanity and human history, one thing becomes abundantly clear - as people, we all need each other. Human beings were not meant to live in isolation. From the earliest recordings of human events, we lived in families, groups, tribes, and clans. We do best when we have people in our lives with whom we can connect to, who see us as we are, and who accept us on those terms, and upon whom we can count on to support and protect us, be it physically or emotionally. From all my years working with young adults and their families, the theme of feeling understood and belonging, feeling worthy of someone's friendship and love, has been at the forefront of concern and focus. Perhaps the most difficult concept to grasp, besides the importance of choosing our friends wisely, is that in order to attract friends into our lives we have to learn to be our own friend and to take care of our physical and emotional health, to support ourselves when times are tough, to forgive ourselves when we make mistakes and, most importantly, to be a constant reminder to ourselves of all that we are proud of, including our successes, no matter how small, and of all the wonderful things that make us the unique individuals we are. As the old adage goes, "In order to have good friends, we need to be good friends," but we need to start by focusing that acceptance, and love on ourselves first. When we learn to accept ourselves, we will be able to accept others, when we learn to forgive ourselves, we can easily do it with others, and when we learn to see the good in ourselves, we can learn to see the good in those around us. When we are solid in our self-concept, our relationships will be solid as well.